Lads! Always a fun type of person to be around, especially if you’re one yourself. Where I work I there are a total of 3 guys and 3 girls. One of the guys only works 1 day. So there can be times where I’m surrounded by ladies. Great right? Of course, however I cannot partake in “Guy talk” with these girls. I can’t compliment the girls on the farts they knock out mainly because GIRLS DO NOT FART (or shit). So I’m thankful that the other guy is around more often than not.

We have various different conversations ranging from wrestling, video games, girls, farts, poops, booze, the drastic decline of seafood sales in certain parts of the Aztec, fighting, punching walls, eating glass and being manly.

Today’s topic of conversation was, porn. We talked about the various types of weird porn we’ve both seen. Pretty standard stuff to be honest. Like when he said he saw a video of an extremely attractive girl looking like she was enjoying something only for the camera to pan down to show a guy sucking on her willy.
That was one of many examples we discussed…….here’s the rest:

  • A deaf woman having sex (You have to hear it to believe it yo)
  • A ummm mentally challenged woman having sex

That’s not a very big list to be honest but we didn’t discuss both in great detail. I’ll leave it up to your imaginations to figure out the details.

Some how the topic of conversation moved onto Cows and how someone thought to Milk them. Which led to a massive discussion regarding the thought process of the first person to milk a cow. Like what was running through their mind? Here’s a few suggestions we came up with:

  • Guy discovered self pleasuring, however got so bored of this, decided to try something else. Saw a Cow’s udder and thought “Holy shit, that thing has 6 of those feel good sticks (that’s the name he gave his penis because doctors were not invented yet to tell him the correct term) I’m gonna rub them to see if white stuff comes out”
  • Guy discovers semen and generally doesn’t find the taste of it appealing. Notices a cow and decides to try that out.
  • A Cow dies and people try to cook it, the milk holding part of the cow gets hotter and someone tries to eat it and gets hot milk instead. (Incidentally this was when the first Starbucks was founded)

To think that technically we both were getting paid whilst having this conversation makes me smile. Now if only someone would give me a full time job doing this.

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