I remember when I first heard about Twitter and scoffed at the idea of it like some sort of posh gentleman who scoffs at things or something.

I was all about the Facebook with its Poking, Tagging, Liking and pictures and shit. The idea of Twitter was stupid! “So a site basically full of status updates? LAME!” “What’s this? Only allowed to post 140 characters? Haha that’s stupid!”

For whatever reason it was, probably because I’m really fickle and easily lead, I ended up signing up for an account anyway. Tweet by Tweet I became more and more used to using it and although I can’t remember my first Tweet, it was probably like every other single first tweet, “Giving this Twitter thing a go lol”.

Fast forward to now and I use Twitter more than Facebook, it’s so simplistic and minimal and yet more engaging than Facebook. Facebook with its fucking Farm crap and endless groups named after some old pop culture shit only to have the rest of the content on it, completely irrelevant from the group’s name.

It’s all become a bit much, don’t get me wrong I still use it and I enjoy whoring pictures of myself looking awesome on it whilst my ego gets a boner at all the comments and likes. However I find myself more comfortable on Twitter, the 140 character limit can be annoying when I have something super hilarious to say that can’t be conveyed with such a limit but that’s the fun part of it, having to cut it down so that it can.

However the problem with Twitter is that it’s made me have a certain hatred for people. I’ve seen a few things on Twitter that have made me want to piss on the server that controls THE INTERNET. I think there should be some sort of test that people need to do in order to own a device that connects them to other people digitally…actually not just digitally but in any form, you should need to complete a test before being allowed to send a letter, not fuck that, to be allowed to TALK to someone else. Some people are just that fucking stupid that these tests need to happen.

Now you may be thinking “What the hell? What’s wrong with you, you smelly tramp! That’s a bit much is it not?” to which I’ll present:

The Twats of Twitter

Here are some ACTUAL Tweets by real people, I’m not going to include their name because I wouldn’t want all 4 of my readers to go and harass them and shit.

I’ll use a couple of Hashtags of phrases used by most people who don’t deserve air. First up:

#NoHomo

I think black lipstick looks hot on some girls. #nohomo #jizzsayin

What? WHAT?

I seriously LOVE all my friends<3 #NoHomo

I kinda feel sorry for your friends to be honest.

I love my bros! They always checkin up on me to see how I did and they get pissed when I don’t get the offers too! lol #LoveThem#NoHomo

Because without putting “NoHomo” everyone would have thought you where IN love with your BROTHERS rather than Love them. Cheers for clearing up what could have been a really messy misunderstanding.

I need a girl that will come over, chill with me, eat my food, drink my drinks,stay the night & let me cuddle her cause I’m drunk #nohomo
(Just a heads up, this was actually a girl who tweeted this)

To be honest love, you may actually be gay.

I remember I once had a conversation with a work mate about the term “No Homo” and I asked him why he said it, to which he replied “So that the statement I make isn’t taken as gay” to which I replied “So if you were to say to your friend, ‘I want to fuck you in the arse…..no homo’, that would make the statement not gay?” There was no response.

#JustSayin

Don’t believe everything you think. #JustSayin

Take your own advise.

a girl shouldn’t be treated like an object #JustSayin

It turns out Captain Obvious is on Twitter ya’ll!

If he says all the right things it usually means he’s had practice saying them. #justsayin

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, this is why you can’t find a nice guy. You’ve already judged him before he even gets a chance.

Too many funerals, not enough graduations. Too many babyshowers, not enough weddings. #justsayin #food4thought

My solution: Meet more people.

When she stops CRYING over you, that means another man is making her SMILE!!! #JustSayin

Or she died of dehydration from crying so much.

The world would be a better place IF everybody got some head errrryday. #JustSayin

It’ll probably be even better if they didn’t try to spell “Everyday” using their forehead.

80% of my tweets wont make sense to you guys. its just stuff in my head. no one could understand. #justsayin

And yet you thought it would be worth sharing on Twitter? Well done.

Tweeting about getting drunk or high does not make you cool.#justsayin

What’s the bet she’s one of those kids that aren’t allowed Sugar?

I hate when people use the expression “they got lucky”, we all have the capacity to be lucky if we put our minds to it. #justsayin

Oh really? Because when I went Vegas I must have been thinking about a different type of lucky, based on the shitty cash I came back with that barely paid for my taxi back home from the Airport.

I like guys with a hot personality. #justsayin

Gah! These girls! All they care about is a HOT personality……WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THAT?

Us girls like the FINER things in life! #justsayin

Ahh finally we know the truth!

I’m sorry is that hate I smell? Is it because he’s a over a foot taller than u, handsome and people like him? #justsayin #sorryimnotsorry

I’m sorry, did you just contradict your Sorry by saying Sorry I’m Not Sorry?

People who use this term usually just come out with bullshit that’s either painfully obvious eg “Breathing is good for you #JustSayin” or spout utter nonsense and palm it off as some general comment. Basically Fuck off.

And on that note I can’t be arsed to continue this post anymore. I’ve made my point, which is that ummmmm there are stupid people with the ability to easily share their stupidity with the rest of the word and to basically help fuel blog posts for people who think they are funny enough to insult them on their shitty blog….ahem.

Buh Bye, you WILLYS!

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2 responses »

  1. Taz says:

    im sure you have more than 4 people reading your blogs Shmeer bhai. loool

    witty, once again! i ❤ it xx

  2. Nital says:

    U are weirdly funny #RealestTalk

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