A positive role model in this day in age is really something to embrace. Young single parents, crime, drug abuse, depression, losing a sock in your washing, dropping your phone in the toilet because you like to keep your phone in your back pocket like a moron. Needless to say, times can be bad and having that bright light in your life can be the best gift of all.

Twitter and other social networks have made it easier to reach these bright lights, and sharing their thought provoking insights into life is even easier. Many the time I’ve seen my followers Retweeting big name celebrities with tweets full of so much pure wisdom that it truly brings warmth to my brown heart.

Then I see Retweets from randoms spouting stupid shit disguised as some glorious mind blowing opinion that deserves to be up amongst the stars.

“Treat her right and she’ll treat you right #RealTalk”

Oh really? Real Talk? No lies? Shit man that’s deep! It makes sense, if you treat her like a turd she’ll probably run away, so if you treat her nice, she’ll stay! Ah man it’s all so clear now!

“You can’t lose what you never had. You can’t keep what’s not yours. And you can’t hold onto something that doesn’t want to stay.#RealTalk”

Well done, you’ve just described a cheetah.

“It’s pretty simple. Texting me first shows you care. #RealTalk”

No it just shows that you’re too scared to make the first move you bum.

“I’m mistaken for a flirt when I’m friendly, rude when I’m blunt, shy when I’m quiet. You just can’t please everyone.” #RealTalk

The key is to stop being so fucking skitzo!

“People don’t change, they become a clearer version of who they really are. #Realtalk”

It’s called growing up.

“A guy who truly loves his girl doesn’t need to unbutton her shirt to get a better view of her heart. #RealTalk <3″

No, he needs some chloroform, something sharp and possibly a decent alibi.

“I solve my problems on twitter I handle em face to face…#RealTalk homie!!!!”

Thanks for letting Twitter know, otherwise they’d be some mass confusion there mate!

“Drake’s music is very relatable! #RealTalk”

MUSIC CAN BE VERY RELATABLE SHOCKER!

“Characterize people by their actions and you will never be fooled by their words…#realtalk”

Two words, Stephen Hawking.

“If girl has a wall up it’s because it was built. Brick by brick. Lie after lie. Heartbreak after heartbreak. #RealTalk”

Or she probably wants to keep you and your bullshit tweets away.

“No two person are the same, so please stop comparing yourself with others. #OMG #RealTalk”

Man when this person comes across identical twins, it’s going to be a hoot.

“If we’re in a relationship i belong to you & you only. Yours truly.#RealTalk”

Oh really? Thanks for the heads up on that, because without that disclaimer I was going to assume you’d cheat on me with numerous guys.

“If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything…. #period #realtalk”

What if you spend your life laying on the floor?

“I Feel Like Real Women Are Attracted To Real Men That Are Confident…#RealTalk”

Really? You mean they’re not attracted to fake men who have the confidence of Dobby from Harry Potter and instantly know who Dobby from Harry Potter is? FUCK!

“All PREACHERS won’t go to heaven if there HEART is NOT right with GOD. #RealTalk. You don’t believe me? Check out Matthew 10: 32-33″

You wouldn’t be preaching yourself would you? Also why are you telling me to check out this 10 year old called Matthew who lives in a house that’s numbered 32-33? If you’re going to give me his address give me the FULL address!

“Sabah and Farah need to get a Twitter #realtalk”

Hopefully they’ll see this….oh wait….

Those were just a handful of ACTUAL tweets from ACTUAL people with ACTUAL brains…..or not.

I’d like to thank my buddy Deren who had to listen to me rant about this at work and told me to write a blog post about it instead, probably to shut me the fuck up. Ah well, now you lot got to listen to my shit! #RealTalk

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One response »

  1. Taz Latif says:

    thats #RealTalk right there :p

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