I had popcorn and a drink! Yay! Speaking of food, I went to see The Hunger Games.

I literally had a piece stuck in my teeth for the entire fucking movie! Never has my finger been in a mouth so long since that one time I pretended to be a dentist because this girl I liked wouldn’t let me near her and she needed to get her broken tooth sorted from that time she ran away from me, tripped and smashed her tooth on the ground. Still I managed to eat about 1/4 of the box using just my tongue….something to think about ladies…..yep, I’m that lazy I’d rather strain my tongue then use my other hand!

Now before I begin with this poor attempt at a review of some sorts, let’s get the obvious out of the way, a lot of people have looked at this movie and all had one thing on their mind. I’m going to expel it now. This movie has nothing to do with food! At first I thought it was inspired by Epic Meal Time but it’s not.

Also this movie is a massive rip off of Battle Royale, apart from the fact that it’s not set in Japan, and doesn’t consist of the combatants being from the same class therefore all friends and shit. I kid of course, the story goes that the author of The Hunger Games had no idea about Battle Roayle and if you’ve seen both movies you’ll see that holds up.

See Battle Royale was more about the young human mind being ripped to shreds by the thought of having to kill or be killed, especially when it involves your school mates. The Hunger Games was more about a central character and how pretty she is, at least that’s what I got from it, then again my attention span could be compared to that of a brain dead gold fish. OH OH OH and the guy in charge of the game:

So tempted to get something similar done to my beard!

But yeah it was a good film overall, I don’t get all the hype surrounding it though. Don’t feel the desire to see it again but part of me does want to watch Battle Royale again. I give it:

Shit Reviewer/10

One thing that amuses me about cinemas is that they spend a lot of time waffling about how great it is to visit the them for watching the latest movies. Often some trailers end in “Only in cinemas” to which I’m usually like “TORRENTS SAY HI!” at which point I’m usually escorted off the premises.

Still, they go on about how great the cinema experience is, but is it really? REALLY?

I once went to see The Hangover 2 and was subjected to seeing the turd in front of me constantly checking his fucking Facebook on his retina burning iPhone. That shit is distracting as hell, especially as the poor twat didn’t get any notifications. He probably updated his Facebook with:

There was a time when I went to see a movie and there was a group of annoying little girls making a ruckus probably high on their own lip gloss or something, the manager of the cinema had to be bought in to tell him to calm the fuck down, amusingly a fresh brown dude told them “Every time you talk, you make it worse for yourself, close your month!” of course they didn’t and so the manager stopped the movie! That was fun.

Gotta love the idiot children who haven’t been taught fuck all about keep the fuck quiet in a cinema, by their parents. “Mummy why is that man crying?”, “HEY! THAT WAS SCARY!”, “Dad why is that man’s wee wee crying all over that ladies face?!”. Hey I got a question kids, “How come you never just shut the fuck up and keep your thoughts, exactly that, YOURS?”

Then there’s the odd phenomenon that is contagious coughing. FUCK! One person coughs and then BAM! Others do it too, it reminds me of mindless sheep following each other and “BAA’ing” aimlessly and mindlessly! The fuckers!

Yep can’t beat that fantastic cinema experience!

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2 responses »

  1. Pino says:

    I like how, with a nice ca vous faire, you didn’t mention the name of the second movie!!! Hehehe

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