[Insert your FACE here]
Life is fun, it’s full of things that can instantly change a sour mood into a sweet one and it’s amazing. The sudden sight of a flower can change a person’s mood from totally unhappy to happy.
However, life isn’t all rainbows and puppy dog farts, it can also be a real shit stain. In this post I’m going to basically moan and you’re going to read it all and enjoy it.
1. When you’re trying to write a blog post but side tracked easily – Good lord I hate this the most which is why its first you bum! I’ll give you a little example, that picture above, it took me about 10-15 minutes to decide on using that particular one. Mainly because I kept looking at cat pictures during the process. I fucking love cats but good lord do they distract me.
Not just cats but anything, currently I have Facebook and Twitter and GameFaqs forums all open on different tabs on my browser, so every so often I’m checking all 3, especially if I get a notification on Facebook or Twitter which leads me on to….
No I don’t want to play fucking Farm-Pissing-Ville, nor do I give a fuck about your Warewolf or fucking Vampire cunting shit (remember that crap from a few years ago?)
Also people who post attention seeking status updates:
Fuckface: OH FML UR A PRICK N I HATE U
Idiot Friend: Oh no what’s wrong hun?
Fuckface: Oh, I’ll call you, don’t want to talk about it on here.
My Head: What the actual FUCKERY?
Another thing about Facebook that annoys me is when people send out a fucking massive inbox message to like a billion people, after about 2 minutes the gist of the messages will be like:
Fanny Head McShite: Blah blah blah relevant to the message
Tits McGee: LOL WHO IZ DIS?
Bum Bummerson: Errr can you remove me from this message please
Spazy Johnson: I don’t even know you and you only added me when you literally bumped into me at that party 6 billion years ago.
FuckFace: OH FML DIS! NO MORE NICE! I’M GONNA BE A PROPER CUNT FROM NOW ON!
Idiot Friend: You OK hun?
FuckFace: Call me, my credit ran out innit.
Me: HOW DO I HAVE THESE CUNT FRIENDS?
Oh and when people like their own bullshit pretentious status updates, fuck off.
3. “Hmm my beard needs a trim for it’s getting rather long and to be honest the itchiness isn’t helping things either”
4. Assumptions – I have a pretty awesome beard and it can get quite big during winter when it becomes a make shift scarf. However some people seem to thing that just because I’m brown and have a beard that automatically makes me Muslim.
Dude: You’re Muslim right?
Me: Err no, Hindu
Dude: Oh it’s the beard that made me think that.
Me: Oh really, you’re a cunt right?
Dude: What? No! Why would you say that?
Me: Well Hitler was a cunt and he made stupid assumptions, much like you.
OK that’s enough hate for now, maybe I’ll revisit this theme, gimme some feedback on if you want more or not. Either way, share this blog with your friends and family, I’d like to think this is a nice read for grandma or even as a bed time read for when you’re putting little Timmy to sleep.
Be sure to follow me on Twitter so that my ego can swell more then my willy when I’m in a place with loads of attractive women…..Follow @thatbrowndude