…you know like the TV Show? No? Come on it’s on E4 like every fucking day, without it that channel would probably be dead!

Friends are funny people (the real ones…well the show was aight as well I guess). There are shit loads of different types. Dumb, Smart, Hilarious, Weird, Sexy, Cute, Ugly, Interesting, Uninteresting, Poor, Rich, Able to make you look less fat/ugly cos they are super fat/ugly, I could go on but I’m starting to bore myself.

I’m gonna focus on 3 of them, because I’ll be fucked if I can be arsed to produce paragraphs of amusing comments about all the ones I just listed.

The Bestest Friend

Start off with the biggie I guess, the friend who you can chat to about anything, no limits, no taboos, just unrated chat, usually ending in mass lolage or prolonged cases of zero communication to reflect on how stupid/awesome/funny/awful the experience of conversation is. Usually just leads back to mass lolage. The friend who makes you lunch, and isn’t shit at cooking meaning you don’t have to lie and be like “Ohh yeah wow yeah this doesn’t taste like tar and anus at all! Yum!”. These are the kind of friends you probably won’t ever be able to fall out with, not that you should test this resolve by throwing poo at them just because they like to talk about it. I mean come on we’re not monkeys.

The Friend That Makes You Feel Smart!

Ahh one of my favourites! See of it wasn’t painfully obvious, I’m a huge nerd, as such a get a few friends ask me for help on general tech related issues. These friends are people I’d like to call, normal. You see the normal person wouldn’t know how to set up a Blackberry or if a certain App is available for their phone and if it is, how to get it. Me being such a nerd means they generally come to me for help. This usually works well for both parties, the friend gets their issue resolved and the nerd, feels awesome and smart, to be fair it’s all they got. It does annoy the shit out of me when I cannot resolve a problem though, unless I’m feeling ultra lazy, in which case I couldn’t give a shit.

The Friend That Reminds You, You’re not that Smart.

Before you assume I’m going to hate on this type of friend, think again. I actually enjoy having a friend like this, as it means I’m always on my toes when it comes to witty banter. I mean after a while there’s only so much enjoyment you can get out of trying to have a witty conversation with someone with the mental capacity of a foetus. This is the kind of friend who can make you converse with them till 3am in the fucking morning, making your morning self want to kick your last night self right in the balls. It takes a certain type of person to make you hate yourself to the point that you blame alternative time versions of yourself! That’s some sort of power! Still the enjoyment I get from, out smarting someone who is probably more intelligent than you, is an awesome feeling, especially if it’s a rare fucking occurrence.

OK so that was a look at 3 types of friends of mine, complete with a fancy picture for each. I think that’s enough for now, I need to get back to being a sad cunt with nothing to do on a Friday night.

Till next time, here’s a Panda rolling around:


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