Often there have been times when I’m having a conversation with someone and after a while I start to completely zone out and start thinking about anything but, the words exiting the person’s gob. Usually its stuff like “Hmm can’t wait to get home and not be here” “Hmmm I wonder what it would be like to live in a house with 127 cats”.

Harmless (well to a certain extent) stuff as you can see. However sometimes I go a little bit darker:

Random person: Yeah so she said that she didn’t like it when I call her chubsy wubbsy
Me: Yeah
Random person: Yeah I dunno what to do now, I mean, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of meat you know?
Me: hmmm
Me thinking to myself: I wonder what would happen if I punch him in the face? Like how would that pan out. What would they say? How would they react to it? What would I say?
Random person: Do you think she’ll notice if I put sugar in all her food?
Me: yeah that’s mad innit?

Or sometimes it’ll be:

Random person: So my girl found out about the sugar scheme to get her fat. She wasn’t pleased.
Me: Damn
Random person: Now she’s making me join her on her jogging sessions. Little does she know that I’ve filled her water bottles with pig fat
Me: Yeah
Random person: I wonder if she’ll notice.
Me thinking to myself: Hmmm if I were to spit at them right now, in the face. How the fuck would that develop? Could I play it off as a sneeze? Hmmmm, I could try it….should I try it? I dunno if I can pull it off…….”
Random person: Dude wanna go weight watchers and watch the fatties?
Man: I get it, you have a thing for fat women.

So yeah, there you have it. Just a small insight as to what goes on in my head. Sometimes. It reminded me of a stand up I saw where he was talking about walking over a bridge and constantly thinking “What would happen if I threw my keys into the river?” and how the thoughts got really intense, to the point where he came rather close to doing so.

So in conclusion, if you meet me, keep the conversation interesting……

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3 responses »

  1. manilink says:

    I do shit like this too – But mine is usually like – oh man look at the plane – imagine if that thing nose dived and crashed into the motorway and took out tons of cars with it – all in front of my very eyes….

    Or see that customer? What if they guy slipped right now and caused everyone else to trip over behind him – in like some tescos pileup!? I sometimes will for this to happen…Hasnt happend yet though…I recently used the power of my will to make a kitten fall off a bookshelf – it almost worked – but mid trip – the furry thing recovered. ¬¬

  2. perfection7 says:

    Lol..I know the feeling to well..you should just do what’s in your head one day..see of it pans out the wqy you thought it would lol.

  3. Yay says:

    lol so awesome

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