First post of the new year! Don’t get your hopes up, it’ll probably be super shit. Now that your expectations are that of a man with £5 in a whore house, let us begin.

So the Festive period is over, people have now returned back to the doom and gloom that is life. No longer can we be bouncing around little retards on LSD, instead we’re all depressed like we’re all on heroin.

Usually I go out for New Years Eve, drink loads of booze then cringe at the photos on facebook the next day when I rise from the dead. However this year or last shall I say, was different. A combination of friends doing different things, it being fucking cold enough for a Snowman’s balls to freeze off and me being more and more of an old man, lead to me putting on my epic new pyjama bottoms:

No my legs aren’t conjoined in some sort of weird knot, I was just chillaxing on my bed when I took the pic.

Anyway, I spent the evening, listening to music on my PC like a super saddo, in muppet pyjamas. I remember listening to a selection of tracks and then noticed a fucking awful racket coming from outside. I had headphones in and yet this noise was intruding my head like some sort of ummm intruder. After a few seconds I noticed that it was fireworks and I thought “WTF is with the fireworks? It’s fucking late, what if I were sleeping? Inconsiderate cunt badgers!”. Then I looked at the clock and noticed that it was 00:01. That’s right, at midnight of January 1st 2010, I was busy ranting about fucking fireworks. They say your year is gonna be a reflection of how you entered it…..fuck.

2010 is a bit of a biggie for me though, it marks the end of me being a Vegetarian. You see 10 years ago, whilst on holiday in Ibiza (the quiet part, not the sex, drugs and errrr disco part). I met a guy there who was a Vegetarian and he told me to try it out, fuck knows what made me listen to him more then my parents when they said “Study hard”, but I chose to become a Vegetarian. I decided to end it at the 10 year mark, I wasn’t doing it for any moral reasons more so for self control and shit. I’d like to think that 10 years is enough to prove myself to errrr myself.
A work mate was so excited over the prospect of me eating meat again that he offered to buy me a whole baby chicken:

After my work mates literally came in their pants at the sight of me with loads of meat in my mouth…..ummmmmmmmm wait what?

Needless to say, I didn’t forget how to eat Chicken.

The day after, I went out for a mate’s bday, to Tinsel Town and ordered the, Empire Cajun Chicken Burger, which consisted of 3 layers of Cajun Chicken with 3 choices of topping.

The info about the Burger said “A Burger that a lot of people order but very few finish”:


Ummm I’ve spent about 1-2 hours trying to write this damn post, time to end it for now! Peace out clownies!

ps if you do spot any spelling/grammar mistakes, then please keep them to yourself, no one likes a boffin.


6 responses »

  1. ah duh says:

    So someone told me if you don’t eat meat for ages and then you do it gives you the shits, is it true?

  2. Naz says:

    I heard abt…braeking news on cpw broadcast….welcome to non-vegetarianism…now we can order u a platter in nandos…healthy 2010

  3. Naz says:

    pardon my spellings…breaking i meant

  4. raindeavour says:


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