Don’t you ever hate it when you’ve gone past a certain point and you can’t really go back?

Like when you ask someone “So what’s new with you?” Only to remember that the person you asked, is fucking boring, and that the only reason you’re asking them that is because you haven’t spoken to them in a long time……because they are fucking boring?

Another example could be when your mid conversation with someone and then you remember that you have something much more important to be doing, like not talking to them. However they just continue to ramble the shit on, and all you can think about is that other important thing that you have to be doing! It gets to the point where you’ve completely lost track of the conversation and your straining not to yawn in their face, and can only respond with “Hmmmm”, “Yeah”, “Yeah?”, “Damn man” and my personal favourite “That’s fucked up” it’s only after that you realise that the person was talking about their child being a in a school play.

My favourite one however is when a mate has been eating or is eating, and you’re talking to them only to notice that part of their grub is on their face! Sometimes I want to tell them straight away but they are so into their part of the conversation that you half lose track of the conversation and half notice the grab on face. So you’re kinda stuck in limbo so to speak.
When it reaches the minute mark you kinda know you can’t say shit about it, because they will be like “Wait a fuck, why are you telling me know?”. So you leave it. However the conversation is still going on and they haven’t used a fucking napkin yet.
5 minutes have passed now and it’s getting a bit sick, like literally, because now all you can notice is the shit on their face and you’re thinking “Jesus, I hope no one else joins us”. Why? Because what if they point out the food on the face? Then Food Face will be like “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? Would you of let me leave this place with shit all over my face for the public to see?” You can’t really defend yourself at this point.
If no one joins you and it’s now the 10 minute mark, you’ve kinda dug your own grave and there isn’t much you can do. Just pray it’s raining heavily outside and that some sort of random event is occurring in the sky that will make Food Face look up.


That’s enough for today, here’s a friendly bug.


One response »

  1. Naz says:

    that was hilarious sam…gosh i cudnt stop laughing…dats y u shud continue writing and defo stand up

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