So when I’m hungry at work and I want some breakfast me and my fellow work mates usually go to Greggs. Usually I get a crusty cheese roll. Simple yet fulfilling. However I noticed they added a new sandwich to their already glorious selection.


Yep looks delicious right? Also those ingredients look a bit familiar do they not? They pretty much make up the ingredients of coleslaw! WTF? Minus the cabbage anyway. Still a Cheese and Coleslaw sandwich would be epic!

I got one of the guys at work to go in and ask for a Cheese and Coleslaw sandwich and apparently the member of staff looked baffed and according to him, a bit scared. Hmm.

I had an idea though, all the staff from my store go in and ask for a Cheese and Coleslaw sandwich. We’ll keep this up, until the Greggs people get fed up and maybe feed back our requests to Head Office, who then decide to pull the Cheese Savoury sandwich in favour of a new Cheese and Coleslaw sandwich. Then we all go in and and say “Hey! What happened to the Cheese Savoury Sandwiches? They were wicked!”. I came up with these genius and pointless idea whilst at work. I technically got paid to think that up. It’s like I have a secret extension to my current job title, “Assistant Manager, and head of idiot ideas“. Hmmm I may need to seek some sort of pay rise.

My local Sainsbury’s recently installed a crap load of Self-Service Checkouts. I love these things so damn much. It makes things so damn simple and I don’t have to spend ages queueing. “Wait a minute mate! If they are so awesome, won’t they be so popular that you’d have to wait a while before you can use it?”. No not at all you silly poop! You see the thing about these Self-Service Checkouts, is that most people are too scared to use them. The amount of times I’ve see staff trying to direct customers towards these wonder machines only for the customer to take one look at them and turn away and head for the nearest human attached to a till, at such a pace that you’d think the Self-Service Checkouts killed their fathers and rapped their mothers whilst shitting on them! Either that or they just see it as being some sort of complex system that will shit on their children if they do something wrong.

I think it’s fear of getting wallet fucked if you do something wrong on these machines, that scare people. However it could be that some people prefer mumbling incoherent bullshit to the checkout people about their lives, because on one else will.


Hmmm two posts in two days eh? Something can’t be right there. Commence lazy mode!

Here’s a bunny with a pancake on it’s head:


One response »

  1. geisha says:

    I’m for the cheese and coleslaw sandwich! i will be popping in to Greggs on my way each time and we’ll make it happen!

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