Well yesterday was Pancake day! My favourite cake related day of the year, apart from Eat Cake all Day till You Vomit Day. Which I invented one day when I was bored.
So I had some home made pancakes that my Mummy made via a recipe she got on the interwebs and it was fucking wicked.
I don’t care that they look like used bandages that have been used on a person who fell onto a cheese grater. They tasted awesome! The dark spots are blueberries and raspberries and no that’s not the aftermath of my excitement over the fact that I’m having pancakes, that’s ice cream!
Moving on now. I went down to the basement to get some sugar for my Mum and noticed something that I hadn’t notice before.
That’s right! Apparently one of the following explains this:
a) There is some sort of apocalyptic event happening soon and we shall be heading to the basement and living off Olive oil and pasta sauce all washed down(as if we need more liquid based food) with Cobra Beer.
b) My family has decided to literally buy as much stock as possible from the major supermarket’s suppliers in an attempt to bankrupt them so that they have to lower their prices and thus, my parents can enjoy cheaper food or something. (lolz they destroyed Woolworths)
c) My parents are aware of some sort of massive melt down in the economy and are stocking up on food and….lynx. When people will be reduced roaming the streets feeding on feces, we’ll be enjoying Dolmio and Cobra Beer whilst smelling all cool and sexy with our numerous cans of Lynx.
d) We are a brown family and as such are drawn to any “Buy One get One Free” or “3 for 2” offers that we see in the supermarkets. Seriously my parents love to stock up on stuff on offer. Thankfully they just buy stuff that we use.
Seriously, looking at our basement you’d think we had a corner shop upstairs…which is ironic seeing as brown people usually run those. Much like how I saw your mum’s working on the corner last night! ZING! Sorry, I usually say that when people cuss me about how all corner shops are run by brown people…..even though I just made the same joke myself!
Ah well, that’s my Tuesday and Wednesday!
Here’s a hoover that lives in my basement: