So today I went to see Notorious, the movie based on the life of Notorious B.I.G. aka Christopher Wallace aka That fat rapper who had a tiffle with Tupac.

Now before you read this, let me just say, I have nothing against the actual man himself or his music, everything said below is based on what I saw from the movie.  Oh yeah there will be possible spoilers so yeah.

notoriously

So this movie was made by all his peeps. These include, his mother and Sean “Puffy” Combs aka Saint P Diddy and his son who just like his late father is large.

Now this movie was funny because it was made to make him look like some sort of lovable chunky drug dealing man who sleeps around like some large man whore….who also raps.

Here are a few things I learned from this movie:

If you are fat, people will laugh at you. If however you are so fat that you have an actual waddle, girls will be lining up to bounce on your stomach/penis.

penguin-waddle

If you sell weed and are making loads of money, it’s ok to neglect your child and cancer ridden mother…to sell more weed.

bad

If you cheat on your wife with another woman, you can make it all better and get instant forgiveness by beat boxing.

beat-boxin-powers

Notorious, really fucked up Little Kim.

Before meeting him:

kim

After:

oh-my

So there’s a few lessons to be had from this movie. There are more, but man I’m tired and my lack of photoshop skills makes editing these picture more annoying then, when your wife flips out when she catches you in bed with another women….ah well nothing that a little beat boxing won’t solve.

Peace out, for now! Here’s a monkey sleeping on a cat:

lolz

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3 responses »

  1. Geisha says:

    Oh, now at least I know why i don’t want to see that movie 😉

  2. Obviously Not Dave says:

    You forgot to mention that the beatbox trick works ONCE and ONCE only.

  3. sohumborn says:

    Great review…you crack me up!

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